To Kill a Sponge/Transcript
episode starts with Plankton getting thrown out of Krusty Krab by Mr. Krabs. * Mr. Krabs: 'Will you ever learn that you will never get me formula?! You're too small and stupid for that kind of action! * '''Plankton: '''I would've succeed if this stupid SpongeBoob didn't captured me in his pickle jar. * '''Mr. Krabs: '''Yeah, better luck next time, kelpy. * ''Plankton into a little ball and smashes him with a puck in The Chum Bucket * 'Mr. Krabs: '''Right in the doors of the smelly old bucket... * ''next scene shows SpongeBob in a boat with Mrs. Puff, driving crazy on the roof of the hospital * '''Fred: ''the noises coming from the roof Oh no, the Foot Breaking Demon found me... Again... * '''Mrs. Puff: '''SpongeBob, stop the boat this instant! I don't want you bringing me in this place once again! * '''SpongeBob: '''Don't worry, Mrs. Puff, i'm a professional, i drove a rock once. * '''Mrs. Puff: '''It's a BOAT, not a rock, you should be gentle with it! * '''SpongeBob: '''Gentle? That's easy! ''the boat ''Who's a good boaty? * '''Mrs. Puff: '''NOT THAT GENTLE!!! * ''loses control of the boat, it breaks the roof of the hospital and falls right onto Fred's legs * Fred: ''no pain I don't feel my feet anymore, you can stop now. * '''SpongeBob: '''Why are you here anyways? * '''Fred: '''My arms are broken. ''his broken arms * SpongeBob: 'Ok, i can't talk now, i need to back up this boat. ''to back the boat up but drives on Fred's arms * 'Fred: '''MY ARMS!!! * ''next scene shows Squidward walking from work while SpongeBob goes from boating school humming a tune * 'Squidward: '''Oh no, not that yellow jerk again. * '''SpongeBob: '''Oh, hi Squidward! * '''Squidward: '''Bye, you imbecile. * '''SpongeBob: '''You won't believe what happened today! I was at boating school trying to start a boat, and when i did... * '''Squidward: '''CAN YOU PLEASE LET ME RELAX FROM YOU?!!!!!! * '''SpongeBob: '''But this story is so funny, you'll totally crack like an egg from it! * '''Squidward: '''I'm already cracked from YOU!!! * '''SpongeBob: '''Okay, i'll tell you this story tomorrow. * '''Squidward: '''Better don't tell me at all. * ''screen turns into split-screen with Squidward, Mrs. Puff and Plankton * 'Plankton: '''This square guy always ruins my day. * '''Mrs. Puff: '''He's worse than anything! * '''Squidward: '''I feel gross when he's standing next to me. I can't even believe we're neighbors. * '''All: '''Someday i'll get rid of this buffoon FOREVER! * ''three go to sleep * the morning, Squidward wakes up first * 'Squidward: '''Morning, oh darn morning. Back to the horrible shift with SpongeBob again. * '''Mrs. Puff: '''Back to the horrible crazy driving student SpongeBob again. * '''Plankton: '''Back to my plans spoiled by SpongeBob again. * '''Squidward: '''Oh, what a coincidence. Mrs. Puff and Plankton also hate being with Spo... Mrs. Puff? Plankton?! * '''Mrs. Puff: '''Squidward? Plankton? * '''Plankton: '''Squidward? That pufferfish teacher? * '''Squidward: '''What do you all guys doing here?! * '''Edward: '''I know the answer. ''on the lights to reveal his scary-looking face * 'Mrs. Puff: '''Oh no... * '''Edward: '''OH YES!!! * '''Mrs. Puff: '''What do you want from us?! * '''Edward: '''Well, you've been talking about SpongeBob recently and i decided to help you. * '''Squidward: '''How? You can take his home away?! * '''Edward: '''Even better. I can KILL him!!! * ''his collection of murderous things * 'Squidward: '''W-wha?... * '''Edward: '''So many knives and chainsaws... Looks like a perfect collection for ultimate killer! * '''Plankton: '''I'd say ultimate maniac... * '''Edward: '''Oh, here's my most favourite one! * ''out a weird-looking thing * 'Edward: '''I call it CHAINKNIFEHAMMERSAW!!! I made it myself! * '''Squidward: '''Well, i knew you're weird, but i didn't knew you're THAT crazy... * '''Edward: '''I'M crazy?! You all are crazy! I'm trying to get rid of you're fears, and you haven't thanked me yet? * '''Mrs. Puff: '''We don't want to kill SpongeBob! We just want him to... Get away from us. * '''Edward: '''Really? Well, remember that time you were on a demolition derby? * ''Puff looks away * 'Edward: '''Or when Squidward had his "happiest memory"? * ''looks down * 'Edward: '''See? You all are crazy. And i brought you all here to help me get rid of this yellow junk. * '''Plankton: '''I won't help you! You're MAD!!! You're killing an innocent guy!!! * '''Edward: '''Innocent? Try to live with him for at least a lifetime or so, and you'll realise he's more dangerous than me. * '''Mrs. Puff: '''He's not that dangerous, only if not driving. First remember dangerous thing YOU had done, young man! * ''clips of Edward breaking Mr. Krabs' shell, shutting Pearl's blowhole and cracking Sandy's water helmet * 'Mrs. Puff: '''Isn't it mad?! * '''Edward: '''Doesn't seems like that to me. * '''Squidward: '''I don't know if i'm really saying it, but i will PROTECT this little guy as much as possible! * '''Mrs. Puff: '''Agreed! * '''Plankton: '''Doesn't fits with my evil nature, but i'm with you! * '''Edward: '''Good try, but i'm the lord here, so get your weapon and go kill 'em! * '''All: '''Yes, sir... * '''Narrator: '''The next day... * ''is at the grill making Krabby Patties * 'Squidward: '''S-spongeB-bob... Two Krabby Patties and f-fries... * '''SpongeBob: '''Coming right up, buddy! * '''Edward: 'a headphone in Squidward's ear ''Ok, it's time. Sneak to him and knock him out with this frying pan. * '''Squidward: '''O-okay... * '''SpongeBob: '''Say, Squidward, you don't look good today. Is there something i can help you with? * '''Squidward: '''No, SpongeBob, it's fine... * '''SpongeBob: '''No-no, i see there's something wrong. Tell me, i'm your friend, i won't hurt you! * '''Squidward: '''Well... ''off the headphone and whispers to SpongeBob ''Someone is going to hurt YOU. * '''SpongeBob: ''gasps Really? Who is it? * '''Squidward: '''It's your maniac brother. * '''SpongeBob: '''No!!! Not him!!! * '''Squidward: '''You know he's going to kill you? * '''SpongeBob: '''Yeah... I suspected that long ago. * '''Squidward: '''Well what are you waiting for! Run away from him! * '''SpongeBob: '''Right after i finish cooking. * ''groans. * Narrator: 'The next '''next '''day... * goes to the boating school where Mrs. Puff sits in a boat with a scared face * 'SpongeBob: '''Hi, Mrs. Puff! What's the problem? * '''Mrs. Puff: '''Don't say anything, just get in the boat! * '''SpongeBob: '''Let me guess, Edward? * '''Mrs. Puff: '''Yes! This maniac hired us to kill you! * '''SpongeBob: '''What are we gonna do now?! * '''Mrs. Puff: '''I'll get you away from this town, where no killers are on the road. * ''Puff starts the boat and drives away * 'SpongeBob: '''Um, Mrs. Puff? * '''Mrs. Puff: '''Yes, Bob? * '''SpongeBob: '''I don't remember seeing yellow and creepy smiling stop signs on the road. * '''Mrs. Puff: '''It's him! Turning back!!! * ''Puff tries to turn back the boat, but Edward ties it with his hands * 'Edward: '''You won't get away, fool! * '''Mrs. Puff: '''We'll see about that... * ''Puff rips Edward's hands off and starts driving * 'SpongeBob: '''Thanks, Mrs. Puff! You saved me! * '''Mrs. Puff: '''Which i will never do again. * '''Edward: '''Tartar sauce... * '''Narrator: '''The next next '''next '''day... * '''SpongeBob: '''I guess it's Plankton's turn to protect me... * '''Plankton: '''Right ahead of ya! ''a belt on SpongeBob ''It's an anti-maniac belt! It protects you from any killers! * '''SpongeBob: '''Looks like a regular belt to me. * '''Plankton: '''It builds a shocking wave around you, so everyone who ever tries to touch you will shock themselves! Behold! * ''SpongeBob, but nothing happens * 'SpongeBob: '''So it '''is '''a regular belt. * '''Plankton: '''Yeah, it is. I haven't thought of it. * '''SpongeBob: '''And i thought i'm stupid. * '''Plankton: '''Wait, look out! * ''looks back to see a net flying towards him. SpongeBob ducks his head and the net flies over him. * 'Plankton: '''That was close. * ''net turns back like a boomerang and captures Edward instead * '''Edward: ''up the net Okay, that's the last straw! * ''knocks out SpongeBob with the rock, ties SpongeBob's arms and legs and takes him on his shoulders * 'Plankton: '''NO!!! HE CAPTURED HIM!!! What's going to happen next?! * ''turns back and puts Plankton in his pocket, walking home * transition to the library, where SpongeBob is tied to the shelf * 'SpongeBob: '''What's happening?! Where am i?! * '''Edward: '''You're in the middle of torture sequence of this episode. * '''SpongeBob: '''No... Not that! * '''Edward: '''But before i kill you, i will kill your friends. * ''a trapdoor under the floor to reveal Plankton, Mrs. Puff and Squidward drowning * 'SpongeBob: '''NOOO!!!! * '''Squidward: '''SpongeBob, save us!!! * '''Edward: '''He won't help you. He's useless in this situation. * '''SpongeBob: '''You won't get away with it! * '''Edward: '''Oh, i will. Just look at them. Drowning, helpless. They tried everything to save you, but forgot that they are enemies. They tried murdering you as well, and failed. * '''SpongeBob: '''You forgot one thing as well. * '''Edward: '''To tie my shoes! Oh, thank you. * '''SpongeBob: '''You forgot that I.. AM.. A. SPOOOOONGE!!!! * ''tears off his legs and arms and falls from the shelf * 'SpongeBob: '''I can tear off my bodyparts... * ''grows his arms and legs * 'SpongeBob: '''And easily grow them back! * '''Edward: '''Oh, you... * '''SpongeBob: '''And the next thing i'm going to do is to save my friends! * ''jumps to his friends and absorbs the water they was drowning in, spilling it on Edward * 'Edward: '''Ouch. * '''Squidward: '''SpongeBob... You saved our miserable lives... * '''SpongeBob: '''That's the least i can do to my friends. * '''Plankton: '''Ok, he saves us, blah-blah-blah. What now? * ''all suddenly look at Edward with faces from "Just One Bite" * 'Edward: '''This means something bad, isn't it? * ''scene cuts to Plankton feeding Edward chum * 'Edward: '''Well come on, you green pest, try to feed me, i don't feel any... * ''hot pepper flavoured chum in Edward's mouth * '''Edward: '''MY THROOOOAT!!! * '''Fred: '''And my arms... Category:Episode Transcripts